This is it, what we’ve spent every weekend for the last twenty-or-so weeks watching for. This is what those countless hours of Sports Center reruns were for, this moment this weekend, Super Bowl XLIV. Wow guys, lets share in this momentous occasion and rejoice.
The biggest game in the biggest sport in America is finally here. Right now every girl reading this is already losing interest and wondering why guys put so much stock in something so dumb. Well ladies keep on reading because this article is actually
for you. This article will take you deep into the psyche of men and clear up some questions you have, as well as give you some tips on how to be the best girlfriend ever (just in time for Valentine’s day).
Guys Are Dumb!
Boy that subtitle probably caught every girl’s eye. I’m sorry to disappoint, but that’s actually a false statement. Men are actually smarter; it’s science. But we are simpler, and that’s why we love this sport so much. It’s easy; give guy football, run towards end zone, tackle guy with football and the team that’s the most successful will win. How awesome is that? Oh that’s right I’m talking to a species that spends thirty minutes choos¬ing what kind of toothpaste to buy, nothing is simple for you. And that’s the disconnect; that’s why you don’t relate to our passion for this “silly game.”
We don’t understand why you have to make the bed before you can get into it, but we deal and that’s what I’m ask¬ing for ladies, just deal with it. This game will be the topic of discus¬sion for the next two weeks, so just clear your Sunday, and deal with it. Don’t get discour¬aged though. This is a great time to get interested, and there is a lot more than just football to consider.
Cel-a-brate good times C’mon
Super Bowl night is one of the biggest party nights of the year. Everywhere you go someone will be celebrating this national holiday. Everyone loves a good party, so find one and go have fun with friends so you don’t have to focus on the football side of it. Just a word of warning though, some guys actually want to watch the game, so keep that in mind if you get around your loud friends at the party. But I’ll talk more about that later.
For those of you who are stuck watch¬ing with your significant other, don’t worry. There are things to keep you entertained as well. This is the single most watched event year in and year out, and thus, advertisers create the most entertaining commercials of the year to debut. This is the one time you won’t want to hit fast forward on your DVR.
“I’m talking to a species that spends thirty minutes choosing what kind of toothpaste to buy.”
Finally there is the half time show. Sure, every since the Janet Jackson “incident” the acts have been more classic rock and out of our age range, but it is still an entertaining production. Even though I have no interest in The Who, I will still watch because months and months of planning have gone into this production. So I have to think it will be at the very least, watchable.
Do: Make an Effort
Just as you desire, guys just want effort. Don’t complain or try to play games and distract us. Women are great at multitasking, but men are not, so just sit by and be happy that we are happy.
Don’t: Learn the Game
Questions are good, it shows you’re interested. But for those of you who haven’t taken the time to learn how the game is played, just be quiet. I’m sorry to be so blunt, but the Super Bowl is not the time to try and teach why that yellow line is going across the field. That’s what the other 19 weeks were for (for help with this, read page 16 of this week’s Prairie).Do:
Root for His Team
If your guy has a rooting interest, don’t ruin it by rooting against him. If his team loses, it will be bad enough that he lost. Don’t make it worse by making him feel like he lost to you as well.
Don’t: Pull a Dr. Phil
Not that men ever really want to talk deeply about their emotions or their relationships, but Super Bowl Sunday is most definitely not the time to do it. Just because you are sitting together on a couch with seemingly nothing to do but watch TV, it is NOT psychology time. It’s not even talking time. Just try to understand us, and shut off your brain and watch the big guys in pads beat the crap out of each other.
Do: Smile and Nod
We take pride in being knowledgeable about something that many of you are not. So of course we are going to show this intelligence by talking about it, often too much. But don’t hold it against us; women dominate most every conversation, so just let us have this one and listen, smile and nod.
The Bottom Line
Follow these simple tips, and you will all be winners. Your man will be happy (just in time to pay you back on Valentine’s Day) and you will be happy knowing you were completely selfless for an entire night. And for you single ladies, if you’re the cool chick at the party that follows these tips, you might just be bagging yourself a man by the end of the night.
It all may seem chauvinistic to tell you to be quiet and give in to your man’s needs for a night, but honestly it will go a long way. I’m not saying you have to cook him dinner in high heels and something from Victoria’s Secret (besides your Pink sweats). Just make it an enjoyable night, and show us men some love.
Web Editor’s Note: For Valentines Dos and Don’ts, click here!